Goldilocks By A Different Name
by Aquarius Galuxy
Summary: Tenten discovers that someone has been living in her apartment when she goes away on long missions. Vignettes, NejiTen.
1. Goldilocks

_This will be a collection of... I guess fairy tale stuff? At the moment I only have two versions of Goldilocks up for posting, but we'll see what the future brings. :P  
><em>

_Naruto and its characters do not belong to me._

* * *

><p><strong>Goldilocks<strong>

**i.**

It happens one day, when Tenten returns home from a week-long mission in Rice Country, to find that the blankets on her bed are not folded quite right.

She frowns - she always folds the blankets in quarters, but this time, they've been folded into thirds (and admittedly, they fit better beneath her pillows like that) - because she can't remember breaking her habit right before she left.

Suddenly concerned for the security of her apartment, Tenten checks the traps - the chakra trap sealing the door, and the wire traps right after that - none have been touched. The bedroom window has been locked from the inside, and the kitchen window is far too small for an ordinary human to slip in through.

She is puzzled and a little unnerved; a quick check reveals that none of her belongings have been tampered with, save for some of the things in her fridge - old vegetables have been replaced with newer ones, and the milk carton isn't the brand she usually purchases.

There aren't many she can imagine breaking into her apartment, so she confronts Neji at the first opportunity she gets, when they train at their usual spot the very next morning.

"Someone's been in my apartment," she tells him, when she approaches him meditating beneath his tree.

Neji cracks an eye open at her, nonplussed. There's a pause before he speaks. "Why do you say that?"

"Because my blankets weren't folded right when I got back from my mission," she answers. "And the food in my fridge wasn't stale. Do you happen to know anything about this?"

He frowns and tips his head sideways. "I haven't heard of unusual occurrences taking place in your apartment. Was it a lapse in memory on your part?"

Her forehead creases. "I can't imagine that happening. My memory hasn't failed me before."

Neji considers her words, shrugs. "I could follow you back after we train, and scan your apartment, just in case."

They do just that later in the evening, but Neji's Byakugan reveals nothing out of the ordinary.

"I should check for clues left behind, huh?" Tenten muses next to him, when they're standing in the doorway of her room. "Things like hair, and scents. Maybe I should ask Kiba to help with tracking the intruder down."

Neji tenses, keeping his Byakugan active even after he's given her apartment the all-clear. When Tenten notices that he's scanning her bed, and asks him about it, he gives his head a slight shake. "No, there aren't any traces of hair around. There shouldn't be any need for Inuzuka to come in."

"I didn't know you could trace things that minute," she comments, surprised. "And I didn't think you had anything against Kiba."

Neji deactivates his vision then, shrugging. "This should be an easy problem to solve. We don't need to bring other teams into this."

She raises her eyebrows at him, but doesn't object. "We'll see if this happens again, then."

* * *

><p><strong>ii.<strong>

There isn't a stitch out of place by the time Tenten returns from her next week-long mission. She deactivates her traps carefully, and scrutinizes every piece of furniture in the apartment. The blankets are folded in quarters, just as she's left them, and the food in her fridge is untouched.

She shrugs, and waits for Neji to return from his mission, to tell him that there weren't any intruders this time.

* * *

><p><strong>iii.<strong>

The next mission is two weeks long, and Tenten returns to her apartment, to find that the overflowing pile of trash in her kitchen bin has been emptied.

Her senses are atingle, and she tears the fridge door open - no rotting pile of vegetables, when she remembers leaving some spinach lying around.

More than a little unnerved, now, she closes her eyes and stretches her senses out, to detect a human presence in her home. She finds none; it doesn't make her feel any less comforted.

Her blankets are folded in quarters, though.

Mystified, Tenten goes to Kiba's this time, asking to borrow Akamaru. She tells him about her plight, remembering that Neji wouldn't like it if he knew she were getting someone outside their team involved in this. (And it couldn't be Lee doing this, nor Gai-_sensei_, because her traps are way too finicky for them to deal with.)

Akamaru sniffs at every corner of the apartment, giving a low whine.

"No one has been here," Kiba translates. He flicks his gaze around her small living quarters. "Either that, or your intruder has disguised his or her scent."

Tenten finds herself grumbling to Neji the next day. "I can't believe it. There clearly was someone in my home - no trash, and no veggies - but Akamaru found no trace of anyone last night."

Neji's dark eyebrows draw together. "You went to Inuzuka?"

She flops down next to where he's meditating, looking up at the tree canopy. "Yeah. I figured that he could have helped."

"You could've asked me," Neji replies, almost with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

"Well, you couldn't find anyone the last time," she retorts, propping her hands on her hips.

Neji narrows his eyes, but says nothing.

A thought occurs to her then, and Tenten glances over at her teammate. "You aren't- You aren't jealous, are you? That I asked Kiba?"

"You're free to do as you wish," he mutters, closing his eyes to return to meditation.

Tenten frowns, and looks more closely at him. "You're jealous, Neji."

He cracks his eyes open by a sliver. "I don't waste effort on trivial emotions."

"I see." (She doesn't, not really.) Tenten huffs, looks back at the trees. "Well, I'll ask Shino for help the next time, then."

Neji doesn't answer her.

* * *

><p><strong>iv.<strong>

Tenten enters her apartment with banked anticipation right after the next lengthy mission. She has asked Shino for some tracking bugs this time, and is confident that the bugs she hid in her apartment would have followed the intruder home.

She checks her bedroom (the blankets are folded in quarters), kitchen (fresh produce this time), and bathroom, and finds that a significant volume of her shampoo has gone.

Her heart leaps. That is a clue, right there.

Tenten races to the Aburame's, and squirms while she waits for Shino to meet her at the front door. When he finally appears, in shades and his hooded jacket, Tenten asks, "Well?"

"My _kikaichu_ did not return at all," Shino replies, "I left them there to the last minute, in case your intruder broke in right before you got back."

"I found no trace of them," she admits, bewildered.

"The intruder may have taken them out," Shino deduces. "All the same, I am honored that you requested my help. Why? Because-"

"Here," Tenten shoves a bag of cookies into his hands, to stop Shino in his self-pitying rant. "Thank you. I appreciated your help, Shino."

Neji is miffed when she finally gets to the training grounds. He turns an accusing stare on her. "You asked the Aburame, didn't you?"

She frowns. "Yes, but how did you- Surely you weren't spying on me, Neji?"

"I wasn't." He lifts his chin, looking away. "I'm above that."

"Well, the intruder emptied the trash, left a bunch of veggies, and used half my shampoo," she grouses, folding her arms. "And Shino's bugs couldn't help at all."

Neji raises an eyebrow. "Surely you'd start to appreciate the presence of this mystery person - he or she clearly isn't a thief."

"Well, it's my apartment to begin with," she grumbles. "It's creepy when you don't know who's been visiting, and getting past my most advanced traps!"

He shrugs, and gets to his feet, to begin their training. "Your intruder doesn't invade your privacy when you're back in the village - am I right?"

"Well, no. At least, not yet," she amends, thinking back on her clues. "It's probably a woman - half my shampoo was gone."

Tenten catches sight of Neji's ebony locks then, and stills.

"Hang on, it wasn't you, was it?" she asks, frowning.

Neji pauses mid-step. He turns to look at her a moment later. "Why would you think that?" he returns, pale eyes considering her. "I have my own lodgings at the Hyuuga compounds."

Tenten bites her lip. "The intruder knew to disguise his or her scent, and rid the bugs. And, he or she has long hair."

He's looking incredulously at her. "You can't be accusing me of breaking into your apartment, can you, Tenten?"

She stares at him for a moment - there was still a hint of wetness in her bath, as if the intruder had just bathed not too long before her return. With her lips pursed, Tenten crosses the distance between them, stopping behind Neji. He turns to look at her. "What are you-"

Tenten catches a handful of his silky hair, bringing it to her nose. The scent is floral - she knows it's his conditioner - but there is no evidence of her shampoo in it.

"Do you shampoo before or after you condition your hair?" she probes.

"Why do you ask?" Neji looks suspiciously at her.

"Just answer me," she insists, taking another deep whiff of his hair. There almost seems to be a trace of her shampoo - but his conditioner has set in deep, and she can't distinguish the scents, not with her sense of smell.

"I shampoo after," Neji replies, guardedly, but does not pull away.

(She vaguely decides that she likes standing close to him when they aren't in the middle of sparring, after all.)

Tenten releases his hair, but the mystery is never far from her mind.

* * *

><p><strong>v.<strong>

On her return from the next long mission, Tenten skips checking the traps, and goes straight to her bathroom - half the shampoo is gone again, and the bar of soap is just the slightest bit soft. The floor is damp - and so is one of her towels.

There are fresh vegetables in the fridge, all over again, and Tenten saves the bedroom inspection for last.

Her window is locked, as it should be, and her bed is made. This time, however, she presses her nose to the pillows, and inhales - nothing out of the ordinary.

She flips the pillows over, inhales again-

And finds that she recognizes those floral notes.

Neji looks at her curiously when they train the next morning, but does not say a word. She reserves her accusations; deep inside, though, her belly is flipping on itself like a slippery fish.

* * *

><p><strong>vi.<strong>

Tenten returns a few days early on the next mission; she has pulled all the stops and pushed her cell in order to return home way before the expected completion date, and as she stops before her apartment door, _chakra_ suppressed, she senses him inside.

The traps are easily disabled - she hasn't bothered to set any elaborate ones this time, and there isn't a sound in the apartment when she steps in, slipping out of her shoes at the door.

He's in the bathroom - her senses tell her as much - and Tenten heads first to her bedroom.

Her blanket is folded, in thirds, at the foot of her bed, and there are creases on the pillows, evidence of having been used. Her cheeks heat.

Tenten sets her backpack down, pads over to the bathroom. Her heart slams against her ribs.

She turns the knob slowly, and pushes the door ajar, so as not to startle him into an absolute defense.

Neji stares at her from the bath (he's standing stark naked with his back to the wall), hands paused in the middle of lathering conditioner through his hair.

Tenten realizes that she isn't able to rouse any anger towards him. "I figured it was you," she says dryly.

He swallows; his nostrils flare, but he does not reply.

"Well, I'll be waiting for an explanation outside," she informs him, and her eyes flit jerkily over him, before she beats a hasty retreat.

(Neji looks really good beneath all his clothes, despite how conservatively he dresses.)

Tenten paces in her living room, her mind twisting upon itself. Neji has been sleeping in her bed. Showering in her bathroom. She's felt a lot more comfortable ever since she discovered that he's the one spending time in her apartment, though the only question in her mind, really, is _Why?_

He emerges from her bathroom with a towel around his waist and his hair bundled in another, and Tenten stops in her tracks, her throat dry.

She gulps.

"Give me a moment," Neji says, and she watches as he slips into her bedroom, to where he probably stored his clothes. Her mind wanders. Tenten tugs uncomfortably at her collar, feeling a little too warm in Neji's presence.

"How did you get in?" she demands, when he steps out of her room, fully dressed in his clan robes, hair still wrapped in a towel. There's a simple bandage concealing his forehead.

Neji glances at her, chagrined, and seats himself on her couch. "The bedroom window. I undid the lock with _chakra_." When she stares at him, dumbfounded, he continues, "I wasn't expecting you to be back this soon."

She eventually manages to move her tongue. "I made sure to return early this time." Tenten finds that it's easier to keep talking, now that she's begun, so she doesn't stop. "Why, Neji? Why hide this from me? I could've just given you a key if you asked."

He looks uncomfortably at her, and back at her coffee table. "I wasn't sure if you'd mind. It seemed wiser not to anger you any further."

"And so you snuck in?" Tenten frowns, getting to her feet. "That isn't going to make me any happier, thinking some weird creep was somehow getting into my apartment every time I left."

Neji winces. "I'm sorry."

"Why my apartment, anyway?" She crouches in front of him, to meet his gaze. "You said you have lodgings at the Hyuuga compounds."

He glances away, unwilling to return her stare. "It feels more like home here."

Tenten stares at him for long heartbeats. "Like... home?"

A noncommittal shrug. "You feel like home."

"What's that supposed to mean, Neji?" Tenten frowns, not quite daring to believe the weight behind his words. She swallows, and reaches out, touching his chin to draw his gaze to her.

"I feel comfortable around you." Neji shifts his weight, and looks towards her bedroom. "I'll leave now, if you wish me to."

"No," she says, when he makes to stand. "That wasn't what I meant."

His pale gaze flickers back to her. "It wasn't?"

Tenten inhales, and wraps her arms around his chest, pulling herself towards him. "No. I wouldn't have minded if you asked to stay here in the first place, idiot."

"Does it mean you mind now, then?" Neji tenses in her embrace, uncertain.

She smiles into his shoulder. "No. But I still wish you'd told me earlier, instead of having me worry about weird creeps."

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, and she presses her nose into his neck. There is a light floral scent on him, that is very familiar by now. His arms eventually find their way around her, tentativeness heavy in their touch.

Tenten fishes around in her pocket a moment later, and pulls her spare key out. "Here," she tells him, waiting until he's taken the key from her. "I figured you'd want this."

Neji looks between her and the key, blinking. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah." She finally grins, and kisses him on the cheek. "As long as it's you in my home, and not some stranger. And don't invite Lee in - he makes a mess sometimes."

The corners of his lips quirk. "I wouldn't want to give him the wrong impression."

"No, we wouldn't," she agrees.

"I'll sleep on the couch," Neji offers, pulling back slightly. He doesn't quite seem to mind her proximity - not that she does, either.

"You were fine with sleeping in my bed, though," Tenten reminds him, slyly.

Neji glances away, a light flush rising to his cheeks. "It was comfortable."

"You liked it there." Not a question.

He doesn't respond.

"We should share it," Tenten whispers next, and Neji's gaze flies back to hers, shocked.

"I couldn't-" he begins.

"Yes, you could," she tells him, just as quietly, and dares to press her lips to his throat, before dragging them up, slowly, to his jaw.

He inhales sharply, but does not move, and she slants her lips over his, stealing his breath. Neji's eyes are wide when she kisses him once, slowly, savoring the velvet of his lips against hers.

"Tenten," he breathes, but she kisses him again, and he responds, slowly, uncertain, trying to mimic her actions.

"Haven't you kissed anyone before?" she teases, leaning her forehead against his, and Neji's eyes widen.

"You have?" There's a slight inflection of jealousy in his tone, that she doesn't miss.

"People who don't matter," she admits, and presses him back into the couch, settling into his lap. With a sigh, she frees his damp hair from the towel on his head, running her fingers through flower-scented locks. "You matter to me, though."

"You aren't interested in... Inuzuka?" he questions. She shakes her head. "Aburame?"

Tenten grins, and shakes her head. "It was always you, Hyuuga."

He blinks at her, surprised.

"For having eyes like yours, you sure don't see a lot, Neji," she remarks lightly, lowering her lips to his with a smile.

He doesn't answer her for the longest time.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Inspired by the Gardening drabble I wrote a while back. ;) Bet you didn't expect that. ;)_

_Also, you heard it here first - I'm thinking of branching into original fiction (essentially to pay bills). No real plans yet. That's what I'm considering though. May or may not continue posting NejiTen - but I will complete whatever I started. Thoughts? :P_


	2. Ebony-locks and the Fair Maiden

_And... my second Goldilocks oneshot. This is from Neji's perspective... and was inspired by the thought, 'What if ALL of Team Gai lived in secret in Tenten's apartment instead?'_

_Naruto and its characters do not belong to me._

* * *

><p><strong>Ebony-locks and the Fair Maiden<strong>

**The First Bear**

At exactly three-and-a-half hours after Tenten leaves the village for her mission to Suna, Neji slips a key into her apartment door, and makes his way into her home. He's familiar with all her traps by now; all he needs is one hand to disable the trap at her front door. He sets down the bag of groceries and supplies he's brought along with him for his unannounced stay - she will only be back in a week, after all - and steps out of his shoes, before heading into the kitchen to make himself a pot of tea.

Tenten always has a stash of green tea in her rightmost kitchen cabinet; Neji makes sure to replenish the almost-empty tin with the bulk bag at the back of the storage space, careful to clip the bag shut in exactly the way she does it. He can't afford to have her discover his presence, after all.

The temporary calendar goes up on her living room wall next - the date she's expected to be back from her mission is circled in red. He's painted the day prior to her return in yellow - when he needs to vacate himself from her apartment.

With that done, Neji proceeds to unpack his supplies. First, the fresh produce, that goes into the very back of her fridge, while he consumes the stale greens that will otherwise begin to rot in her absence. He adds meat to the little collection in her freezer, pulling older packages out to thaw.

The second set of supplies is his own - shampoo, a large bottle of conditioner, and some clothes he'll use for the duration of his stay.

Neji's routine is rounded off with a long shower (he's added a significant volume of coins and notes into the open tin she has in her bedroom, to pay for the utilities), and as his hair dries in the bundle atop his head, Neji gets ready for sleep - he dresses in a simple shirt and shorts, and crawls into her bed.

This is his favorite part of staying in Tenten's apartment; her scent envelops him when he's wrapped snugly in her covers, cheek pressed against the very pillow she's been using. Much unlike the nights he spends in the Hyuuga compounds, Neji falls asleep easily, comforted by the lingering trace of her presence around him.

* * *

><p><strong>The Second Bear<strong>

Trouble brews when Neji is interrupted in the middle of his morning routines in Tenten's apartment one day. There is a loud, unruly banging on the door, that he hesitates to investigate - but what if Tenten's door gets broken down? He can't possibly stay in her apartment then.

There is muffled shouting when he looks through the peephole. It is Lee, in his green spandex, looking thoroughly devastated.

Neji hesitates for a long moment, though he makes his decision when the door hinges begin to rattle.

"What is it?" he snaps, swinging the door open.

Lee pauses in his ruckus, gaping at him in shock. "Neji?" Lee fumbles. "What are you doing here?"

Neji pauses. "What are _you_ doing here?" he asks in return, avoiding Lee's question.

Lee looks over his shoulder into the apartment, and Neji feels the barest streak of annoyance seep into his veins. "Where's Tenten? Are you visiting her? I thought you would be training-"

"Tenten is on a mission," Neji answers, surprised that Lee did not know. "I am... house-sitting. If you want to get a message to her, I'd suggest coming back in four days."

A look of discomfort eases into Lee's features. Neji notices then that he's carrying a fairly large backpack. "Well... the thing is, I need a place to stay right now, Neji," Lee admits. Neji raises an eyebrow. Lee screws his face up then, and bursts into tears. "I burned holes in Gai-_sensei_'s spandex suits, and I can't face him right now!"

Neji cringes. "I can't let you stay here."

The more people visiting Tenten's apartment, the quicker his cover is going to be blown.

"But I really need a place-" Lee pleads.

"Ask Naruto, or Kiba, or someone else," Neji retorts, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"But you're staying here," Lee observes suddenly, and Neji groans inwardly. "Does that mean Tenten will let me stay here too?"

Neji looks away from Lee's expectant face, and counts to ten before speaking. "I'm here on stealth training," he lies. "Tenten must not know about my presence here."

That is the worst possible thing to say to Lee, because he falls for it, and excitement blooms radiantly across his features.

"Training!" Lee exclaims. "I would like to train with you, Neji! Please?"

Neji frowns deeply. "No. There isn't enough space here."

"I promise I'll be stealthy like you said," Lee urges, his inky eyes sparkling. "And I won't say a word of it to Tenten."

"No."

"Then I'll tell Tenten that you're staying in her apartment without her permission," Lee threatens with a frown.

Neji freezes. When had Lee learned to twist things to his advantage? With a heavy sigh, he steps away from the door, letting his teammate into Tenten's apartment. Lee gives a delighted whoop of joy.

"But I set the rules," he tells Lee. "You'll sleep on the couch. Bring your own food. We vacate the moment it appears that Tenten is returning home."

Lee nods eagerly. "What else must I do?"

"Do not let anyone see you entering," Neji tells him. "And for Tenten's sake, clean up any messes, and sweep the floors."

"Yosh!" Lee cheers, punching a fist in the air. "I won't lose to you in this training, my eternal rival!"

Neji discovers that Lee is not such a bad housemate after all, because Tenten's bathroom and kitchen and floors are scrubbed to sparkling-clean every time the latter comes to stay afterwards, even when Gai has long forgiven him for the hole-ridden spandex suits.

(Tenten notices the gleaming floors and overflowing money tin when she next returns home, and chalks it down to having prayed hard enough to the floor spirits right before she left.)

* * *

><p><strong>The Third Bear<strong>

It has been pouring heavily in Konoha for the past few days, when Tenten leaves on another mission weeks after her floors began to shine. Neji and Lee arrive at her apartment to find a large leak in her ceiling, that Tenten has tried to contain with a large pail right beneath. She hasn't had the time, money or expertise to fix it, it seems, and Lee suggests that they repair it - but neither he nor Neji has had much experience in fixing leaking roofs, either.

With their contributions to Tenten's supplies put away, they stand around the slowly-filling pail, Neji looking up at the ceiling with his Byakugan, and Lee rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"We could buy some plaster at the store," Lee suggests. "I'll seal it from inside the apartment, and you can do the same from the top of the roof."

"It's still pouring out." Neji frowns. Nice of Lee to volunteer him into the rain. "The plaster won't dry in this weather."

"But we can't leave the pail here, it'll overflow!" Lee protests. "Besides, we owe it to Tenten to-"

There's a heavy knocking on the door then, and Neji shares a wary look with Lee. They haven't been keeping their voices down - a violation of their supposed stealth training.

"Who is it?" Lee whispers.

Neji shrugs, walks over to the peephole. The sight that befalls him sends him jerking away from Tenten's door, as if burnt. "It's Gai-_sensei_," he hisses, looking accusingly at Lee.

"I didn't tell him anything about our stealth training!" Lee protests just as quietly, forehead furrowed. "What's Gai-_sensei_ doing here?"

"We'll have to pretend that we aren't here," Neji tells him.

"Tenten! I know you're in there!" Gai pounds on the door. Neji and Lee exchange another glance.

"We can't betray Gai-_sensei_," Lee almost wails, and Neji drags his hand across his face. It's too late to hide their presence now. If they ignore their mentor, Gai will only broach the topic with Tenten when she's back, and that is a risk Neji isn't willing to take.

"We make him promise not to tell," Neji decides, narrowing his eyes with steely resolve.

"This is for the sake of our youthful training," Lee whispers.

They head for the door, and Neji opens it, bracing himself for an outburst. Gai stares at them in surprise, fist raised to knock.

"We are in the middle of training," Neji tells their mentor evenly. "Tenten isn't aware that Lee and I are here."

Neji notes that Gai is carrying a backpack, like Lee when he first pounded on the door weeks ago. Gai frowns.

"Neji! Lee!" Gai sputters, looking between them. "Tenten isn't-"

"She's on a mission," Lee informs him, as Neji shuts the door behind all of them. "We are here on stealth training."

Gai looks suspiciously at Neji, who hides his unease with a nonchalant shrug.

"We're house-sitting for Tenten, and at the same time, we are practicing living in stealth," Lee continues.

"How could you do this to our youthful flower?" The green beast of Konoha punches Lee in the head, sending him stumbling backwards. "I expected the two of you to have more honor-"

"We do," Neji protests, pressing a finger to the bridge of his nose. "We ensure that Tenten's apartment is cleaned and taken care of to the best of our abilities."

Gai doesn't have anything to say to that.

"What are you doing here, _sensei_?" Lee asks next as he walks back, rubbing his sore head. He glances at the heavy backpack that his esteemed teacher is carrying.

"Well, I'm looking for a place to stay - the lower areas of Konoha are flooded," Gai informs them with a frown. "Neither you nor Neji were at home, so I came here to see if our youthful flower has some floor space I can camp on."

Neji heaves a heavy sigh in resignation. If they refuse Gai now, he's bound to return to Tenten with tales of them living in her apartment. Why do things like that happen to him, of all people?

"You may join on our stealth training on one condition," he tells his mentor. "That you do not tell Tenten anything about living in her apartment. Like Lee and I, you bring your own food, and clean any messes you create."

"That's not a problem," Gai says dismissively, with a brilliant grin and a thumbs-up. "This is essentially a mission to improve our youthful flower's living quarters while keeping it a secret, is it not?"

Neji nods. If that's what Gai wants to think, then so be it. "You'll be bunking in the living room with Lee."

Gai's bushy eyebrows draw together then. "And where will you be sleeping?"

His stomach flips, but Neji maintains his facade of calm. "Tenten's bedroom. I was here first."

He staunchly ignores Gai's waggling eyebrows (at least the man made no mention of him sleeping in Tenten's bed) and points towards the ceiling.

"First, we fix her leaking roof."

With Gai's help, and a modification of a fire technique that Neji's picked up over the course of his _jounin_ training, the masculine portion of Team Gai fixes Tenten's roof in the rain that night.

(Tenten returns home to find her ceiling no longer leaking, her money tin overflowing with cash, and her fridge full of fresh food. She tears up, touched, and whispers an extra big _thank you_ to the roof spirits this time.)

* * *

><p><strong>The Fair Maiden<strong>

"Lee, get out of my way - your elbow is in my face!" Neji grumbles as he tries to untangle a rare knot in his hair.

"But Tenten's returning soon and I need to gel my hair!" Lee exclaims, resisting Neji's attempt to get his elbow off. "I am meeting Sakura-_san_ for lunch today and she must not see me lacking in youth!"

"Now, don't fight, Neji, Lee. Consider this a challenge in teamwork!" Gai pronounces, and runs gel-slicked fingers through his own bowl-cut. "Surely we can use the only mirror in Tenten's home to our benefit!"

"It's hard to even breathe when you're crushing me against the wall," Neji bristles, wincing as Lee's elbow grinds his cheek into his teeth. "I was here first! Lee!"

"Sorry, Neji, just a while longer!" Lee sticks his tongue out in concentration, turning his head to ensure that all his gleaming hair has been shaped in place.

Neji exhales slowly, cursing his luck - how the three of them managed to fit in front of Tenten's bathroom counter, he'll never know. Tenten is scheduled to return tomorrow, but as a precaution, he activates his Byakugan, to scan for her.

And finds her walking along the corridor towards her apartment, backpack in tow.

He curses. "Tenten's back. Twenty yards away. We have a minute before she opens the door."

Chaos erupts in Tenten's bathroom then. They find themselves scrambling to remove all traces of their presence, and Neji barely remembers to straighten the sheets on Tenten's bed, looking over her apartment once more as Lee and Gai escape through her window.

Neji shuts Tenten's bedroom window from outside just as she opens the door to her apartment. Only then does he remember the bottles of conditioner and gel they've left in her bathroom, that he's overlooked in his attempt to flee. Neji curses and hovers outside Tenten's window, listening to her walk through the different rooms of her apartment.

"Thank you for the bottles of conditioner, bathroom spirits," he hears Tenten say.

(She shows up to training the next morning with the glossiest hair he's ever seen on her. Both Lee and Gai grin brightly, giving her the Nice Guy pose.)

* * *

><p><strong>The Fair Maiden - And that makes four<strong>

Tenten hums as she walks back to her apartment. This last mission has gone unexpectedly well - it seemed as if everything was falling into place - good weather, no enemy attacks on her escort, and a general lack of any hindrance at all. It feels as if the spirits that have been showering gifts on her in the apartment have decided to follow on her mission this past week.

With a grin, she slides her key into the lock, and turns the knob, swinging her door open. Tenten holds a hand out, to deactivate her wire traps - except the wire traps have already been neutralized, and Neji's standing just feet away, frozen in place, a hand raised, as if to open the front door.

She gapes at him. Have the apartment spirits let him in? "Neji?"

"Tententen," he sputters, still staring at her. There's a flicker of embarrassment across his face, when he realizes the slip of his tongue. Tenten bites a smile down, and Neji, upon seeing her reaction, continues haltingly, "Ten... ten... ten... ten?"

A gurgle of laughter rises through her chest. Tenten doubles over, clutching her sides as she cracks up, stunned speechless by his appearance, and his mistake.

"Tenten!" Gai's voice booms from within the apartment then, and Tenten is shocked into silence once more, staring disbelievingly as her mentor rushes out of her bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth.

"Gai-_sensei_?" Tenten's jaw hangs slack, and her eyes bug out when Lee races out of the kitchen, packed lunches in hand. "Lee? What the hell are you all doing here? How did you even get in?"

Neji shifts uncomfortably in front of her, and she returns her gaze to him. He's looking at anywhere but her, though he doesn't volunteer an explanation. Instead, Lee rushes up to her, an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry, Tenten! We're training ourselves in stealth and weren't expecting you back this soon! Neji is a genius for suggesting it!"

Tenten swivels her attention back to Neji, who is now standing ramrod-straight, his cheeks pale. "Neji? What's going on?" she frowns. Lee slips behind Neji, out of sight.

Neji remains painfully speechless.

"Well, I should be going!" Lee says cheerfully, popping out from behind Neji with a backpack. Next to him, Gai carries a similar backpack, toothbrush still in his mouth.

"See you at training, youthful flower!" Gai beams, giving her a thumbs-up.

As one, Gai and Lee blaze out of her apartment, their shoes squeaking on shiny floors.

Neji pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling deeply.

"What's going on?" Tenten demands, propping her hands on her hips. "Lee said you suggested this, Neji."

"It was... an exercise in stealth," he answers lamely, finally looking at her, a measure of wariness in his eyes.

Tenten closes the door behind her numbly, looking over the rest of her apartment. The floors are gleaming, and there isn't a speck of dust to be seen. "It... It was you guys all along?" she finally says, recalling the countless weeks of extra cash and her fridge stocked full of food. "You were living in my apartment? I thought it was the spirits that I prayed to!"

The idea just about bowls her over.

Neji cringes. "I should leave," he tells her.

"No," she cuts him off, setting her bag on the floor. "I can't believe this has been going on without my knowledge! How could you guys do this?"

Neji doesn't answer.

"I mean, I'm glad for you fixing the leak in my roof and for cleaning the floors-" Tenten stops by the bathroom, and touches her hair. "That conditioner was from you, wasn't it?"

He nods.

"Then... Where have you guys been sleeping?" she whispers in horror, heading over to her bedroom. The sheets have been straightened out, leaving almost no trace of having been used.

"Lee and Gai bunked in the living room," Neji says uncomfortably.

"And you?" Tenten demands. There aren't many options left-

"Your bedroom," Neji tells her, and she notices that he's kept his answer vague.

"In my bed," she deduces, heat rising to her cheeks.

"All I did was sleep there," Neji mutters, and Tenten gawks at him.

"You mean there are other things you could be doing in my bed?" she mumbles, ogling him like a goldfish.

Neji flushes crimson. "I really should be going."

"Not right now, you don't, Hyuuga Neji," Tenten sputters, finally realizing what else he could have been doing, that he didn't.

Neji shifts his weight uncomfortably to his other foot. "We've left fresh food in your fridge," he says. "The roof doesn't leak anymore, and we've fixed the problem with the stove, and the sink."

Tenten blinks stupidly at him. "Wow."

"It really isn't as bad as you think it is," he adds, inching backwards, as if itching to leave.

"Wait." She holds a hand up, to stop him, scanning him shrewdly. Neji avoids meeting her gaze. "Lee said this was all your idea. Why even do this?"

He shrugs awkwardly. "I was concerned about the state of your apartment," Neji explains.

"Well, I can't really fault you guys for doing all these for me," Tenten whispers, grateful beyond words. She steps forward and hugs Neji, and he smiles down at her uncertainly. "I'll probably forgive you tomorrow," she tells him.

Neji swallows, looks away. "I'm sorry-"

"Can I give you something as thanks, then? For all you've done?" Tenten continues, savoring the warmth of his chest. Neji blinks at her in question, and she tips her head up, pressing her mouth to his. Neji's lips are soft and moist. "I've always wanted to do that."

He stares at her in shock, some of the fading pinkness in his cheeks returning. "Are-" Neji gulps, and tries again. "Are you doing that to Lee and Gai-_sensei_ as thanks as well?"

Tenten sputters at him. "No! What on earth are you thinking, Neji?"

She pulls away from him in disgust, leaving him smiling fondly at her.

"Are you in need of a floor spirit, then?" Neji asks suddenly, glancing towards her bedroom.

Tenten frowns, momentarily confused. It dawns on her that he's asking to stay in her apartment seconds later, and she beams at him, at the prospect of him living with her. "No," she tells him, and his expression falls by the slightest bit. "But you can be my bed spirit."

Neji's pale eyes light up, and he stares at her, lips parted.

She presses a finger to his mouth, leans in to kiss the corner of his lips. "Just don't invite Lee and Gai-_sensei_ to live with us," she instructs. "It's more youth than I can handle."

He smiles against her finger. "As you wish, Tenten."

* * *

><p><em>AN: The husband was all "I can't believe I'm reading this" throughout. ;) I was pretty amused by this. ;)_

_Also, am almost done with writing Blackmail - Total count seems to be 32-33 chapters and maybe 140k words. ;) I'm guessing you guys prefer long chapters?_


	3. Beautiful Beast

_Posting a day early because we're going on a long weekend road trip! :) Inspired by _expiration_, who yelled "BEAUTY" and I was suddenly struck by inspiration. ;) Not quite Beauty and the Beast, but you get the idea._

_Naruto and its characters do not belong to me._

* * *

><p><strong>Beautiful Beast<strong>

"I read a book yesterday," Tenten announces one morning, when they arrive at Team Gai's training grounds in the predawn quiet. It is the kind of silence that falls when the birds stop chirping, while the sky turns a lighter shade of blue, and the air is still cool around them.

Neji sets his things beneath the great oak, beside Tenten's, and looks curiously towards her. "I didn't think you read."

She scowls at him. "Of course I read!"

"Aside from erotic literature, you mean," he mutters, and Tenten glowers, a light flush tinting her cheeks.

"Hyuuga Neji!" she snaps. "Will you listen to me?"

He breathes a long-suffering sigh and rolls his shoulders back, stretching to prepare for their back-to-back spars. "I am listening."

"As I was saying," she continues archly, dropping down beside him to do her own stretches. "I read a book yesterday. It was titled _Beauty and the Beast_."

Neji raises an eyebrow at her. "What was it about?"

"Not important," Tenten says, waving dismissively. "What is important is that after reading that book, I've decided that I want to be the Beauty. And you can be the Beast."

He stares at her. "What?"

"I've had enough of you being beautiful," Tenten informs him, angling a reproachful stare in his direction.

Neji blinks. "I'm beautiful?"

She frowns. "Haven't you looked in a mirror?"

"All I see is me," he replies, a furrow wrinkling between his eyebrows.

"Well, you're beautiful." Tenten huffs. "But I want to be the beauty this time."

For all of his genius, Hyuuga Neji has nothing to say to that. So he remains silent.

"I got stuck, though," Tenten admits after a while, her shoulders sagging. "I don't know how to be beautiful."

Neji frowns harder. "Why even bother?" he asks.

Tenten scrunches her face up. "Because... you're beautiful and I'm the girl on our team. I'm supposed to be the beautiful one."

"I'm not beautiful," Neji tells her.

"You are!" There's a bit of a distance between them now, courtesy of his exercises. Tenten props her fists on her hips and strides over to face him. She checks his various features off on her fingers. "Your lashes are thick, you have double eyelids, you have high cheekbones and pretty irises. Your nose is pointed and your complexion is flawless. You have perfect teeth and eyebrows and your lips are so damn kissable and-"

Neji raises a perfect slender eyebrow at her.

Tenten pauses for a moment to think over what she's just said.

The sheer awkwardness of her last line steals all the breath from her lungs. Her cheeks burn a bright crimson. "Um. Forget the last bit - I, um, it was a mistake and um."

She looks around the rest of the clearing for something to take his attention off from her, and finds nothing of note. _Damn it!_

"Your ears!" Tenten blurts suddenly, grateful to have remembered something else that she hasn't mentioned. "I mean, they don't stick out like a monkey's, and, well, I meant you have nice lips in the way that they aren't all thick, and, um."

"Are you now trying to insult me?" Neji questions flatly, folding his arms.

"Yes! No! Um. I was just telling you why exactly you're beautiful," Tenten harrumphs. "But we should get started on training."

Neji holds her stare for a moment longer, before starting forward, towards their training grounds. "Sure."

* * *

><p>They're midway into lunch before Neji brings up their conversation from the morning.<p>

"How do I become a beast?" he asks, and Tenten pauses in the middle of chewing.

"By being uncouth?" she suggests through her mouthful of food.

Neji raises an eyebrow at her again.

Tenten winces and claps a hand over her face, making sure to swallow her food before speaking. "Well, um, I guess there are various ways to be a beast," she muses.

"Like Gai-_sensei_?" Neji asks dryly.

They share a cringe.

"No green spandex, please," Tenten tells him. "But what if you wore spandex that wasn't green? Or orange?"

He narrows his eyes. She sees the cogs turning in his mind, and raises a hand to stop his thoughts.

"Wait. See, what if you wore white spandex? Or black? That isn't as unsightly as green," she says contemplatively. "Lots of people wouldn't mind seeing you in white spandex."

There's a trace of suspicion in his eyes. "Is that you or your erotic literature talking?"

Tenten flushes. "I don't read erotic literature that much, okay? And, um, I don't think of you in spandex. Not at all."

"I saw three books of Icha Icha on your bedside table when I visited," Neji points out.

She gapes at him. "I thought I closed the door to my bedroom!"

"You left it ajar." He looks at her, eyebrows raised in challenge.

Tenten stares crossly at him. "Well, for the record, I did not bookmark anything to do with spandex."

"Fishnets?" he asks.

_Yes._ "No. How did you know what fishnets are, anyway?" she retorts. "I thought you were all about training."

"You can't not know the basics of bedroom attire," Neji informs her primly.

This time, it's her turn to stare. The next thought strikes her so hard that it almost blows her over. "Are you-" She gulps, and tries again. "Are you a... a bedroom beast?"

He sends her a very affronted look, a blush rising to his cheeks. "How did you even come up with that idea?"

She tries to prevent her attention from lingering too long on Neji-the-bedroom-beast. "I- I just figured that since you knew so much about bedroom attire..."

Neji frowns at her and returns to his _bento_, chewing slowly.

"Have you had sex?" Tenten blurts suddenly, and Neji erupts in a coughing fit.

She winces and leans over to clap him on the back, to help clear his airway. (Well, at least beauties don't choke on food like he just did.)

It's some time later before Neji regains his composure, gulping tea down to clear his throat.

"What kind of question was that?" he bristles, forehead creased in a frown.

She sends him an indignant look. "It was just an ordinary question! Lee wouldn't have choked if I asked him the same thing!"

Neji glances sullenly at her. "He might be the beast you're looking for, then."

Tenten cringes at the thought of Lee in the bedroom. _No. Just no._ "It has to be you," she insists.

"Why?" he asks then, puzzled. "Why must we be one or the other?"

"Well." Tenten pauses, and realizes the absurdity of their conversation. "I was just having some fun, you know."

He seems to be content with her answer, and she relaxes, stretching out when she finishes her _bento_.

"I can almost believe you've never had sex, though," Tenten says suddenly, her thoughts drifting back to their conversation.

Neji looks uneasily at her. "Why are you returning to that?"

"Because. I'm curious. Would you be a beast in bed?" she asks, with her best attempt at pulling an innocent expression.

He flushes. "Am I supposed to know?"

"Well, you'd know if you've had girls tell you that," Tenten grins impishly.

"I don't see how you're so convinced that I'd be..." Neji pauses, as if there were something distasteful on his tongue. "That well informed."

She stifles a smile. "Well, going back to our earlier discussion, you're a beauty. But if you throw in all those bedroom considerations, then you may well be a beautiful beast instead."

It's a while before she manages to yank her drifting thoughts back to the present.

Neji scans her warily. "You like the thought of me being a beautiful beast."

_In bed_, her mind adds helpfully.

Tenten freezes, her stomach flipping. "I didn't say that!" she yelps. Red stains her cheeks.

Neji isn't letting her get away with it this time, however.

"You were thinking it," he informs her. "Your eyes were glazed over."

She gapes at him. "I- Were they?"

He fixes her with his lilac stare then, and Tenten isn't able to look away. "Supposing you were the beauty," Neji says slowly, "And I were the equally-beautiful beast, and we found ourselves in a bedroom situation-"

Tenten gulps, and her imagination spirals out of control.

"What would you do?" Neji pauses, looking expectantly at her.

She can't - doesn't know how to - answer. "I... don't know," she tells him feebly.

Because he can't possibly find out what she'd want to do.

Figures that he'd turn the conversation against her.

Neji begins to pack his empty _bento_ box away, tying it back into its wrapping cloth. "I was surprised that you didn't think of yourself as a beauty," he says at length.

Tenten stares at him. "Why do you say that?"

He gives her a smug glance. "Because the worth of your beauty isn't based solely on your looks," he answers. "Though your lips are pretty damn kissable as well."

It takes a moment for his words to sink in, and when they do, Tenten's mouth falls open. Her cheeks prickle with heat. "You- you-"

Neji sets his things to the side, and stands to resume light training exercises. Tenten scrambles up to follow him, lunchbox set aside.

She snuffles in surprise when he steps in front of her suddenly, lowering his mouth to hers. Tenten feels her heart stop at the warm pressure of his lips. "Neji," she squeaks, stunned.

"The only question that I have, really," he pauses, sending her a sly smile, "Is whether you're a beast yourself."

Neji turns away to let her comprehend his question. She gapes at him, and the unspoken connotations of his words.

"Wouldn't you like to find out," Tenten eventually mutters, when she regains her senses, stalking towards him with a scowl.

The twitch of his lips tells her he does, and preferably sooner than later.

* * *

><p><em>AN: My Neji and Tenten talk a lot. Like seriously. o_o And yes, this is very similar to "Philosophical". ;) _


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